Wednesday, 6 August 2014


Success Criteria

Brainstorms to identify main ideas to be used in writing.
Uses most of the main ideas in the writing.
Uses paragraphs and sequences ideas.
Attempts to end writing with a simple conclusions.
Spells most words correctly.
Uses capital letters, full stops, commas, apostrophes, question marks, exclamation marks.
Rereads writing to edit out information that does not improve the message.
Rereads writing to edit in words and phrases that improve the message.
Uses a dictionary to identify and check spelling attempts.
Checks writing for basic punctuation.

Going to Australia.  

We were on the way to Australia in the plane and it took three hours to get there. In the plane there are video games. I played “Want to be a millionaire?” It took forever for the plane to get there but now we are finally there. We had to go on the Australian shuttle bus to our hotel. Our hotel is called Soul Surfers Paradise but my Grandmother calls it Soul Paradise.

On our first day we are relaxing getting our stuff unpacked and getting used to the place. We might go to the pools soon, but before we do that we had to go to Countdown. It took ages to walk there, but there are lots of escalators and I love going up and down on escalators. We had to go down one to get to Countdown. We got lots of stuff but they didn't have most of the stuff we have in New Zealand. They have different tomato sauce and mayo. When we finished we had to scan it not the owners. 

Then when we finally got to go to the pools they have hot pools and spas there. We spent 10 minutes. Then we got dressed at the hotel. We went into the exercise room after. There was a running machine. When you go on the running machine you can turn it faster. When we got out it was time for dinner. We went to a place called Hot Rod.                       

Today was our first theme park day. We went into Movieland, there were lots of roller coasters there. I was too small to go on the Superman one even though Superman is for little kids and I wasn't allowed to go on Green Lantern. The Green Lantern was probably the scariest. The only big kid roller coaster I was allowed on was the Bat Wing. The Bat Wing is a little like The Giant Drop.

The first roller coaster I went on was the Loony Toons one. The one that made me really wet was the one in The Wild Wild West. It is really scary because you go up a really high mountain and there is sort of something like a  projector thing where you put a olden day camera somewhere and it appears on the wall. Then you go down from the hill so fast and water splashes you.

Our next theme park was Dream World. Dream World is the biggest theme park in Australia. In Dream World I went on the Real Giant Drop. It was 126 meters high and then it does a small drop of 1 meter, then it falls to the bottom. In Dream World there is a Scooby Doo ride and it was a 75 minute wait. It was really scary but I didn't  get scared at all. When you were in the middle, axes fall down but you don't get hit.     


  1. Dear Phoebe

    I like how you used capital letters after all your full stops.
    I like how you Uses more than 3 paragraphs.
    Next time you could put a simple conclusion.
    What was your favourite thing at movie world.

  2. What an amazing holiday you had with your grandparents and cousins - super cool :-)xx